


The Fear of Being Known

by LadyMelinoe



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Deeply Closeted Corrin, F/F, Human Corrin, Mental Health Issues, Modern AU, More Ships to come, Referenced suicide, Valid Teen Angst, adopted family, college sucks and xander craves death, implied childhood neglect, slowburn, sometimes opening up to people is alright
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-05-20 14:34:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19378666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMelinoe/pseuds/LadyMelinoe
Summary: Corrin wasn't thrilled when her mother decided to reach out again.She was taken when she was 4 and after 12 years of silence Mikoto contacts her, wanting to meet. Already dealing with other issues, Corrin isn't sure if she actually wants to follow through with it. After years of therapy to try and claw through abandonment issues, it feels as if it's all closing back in on her. But at the same time, she can't help but wonder what her mother would have to say to her after all these years.





	1. Unopened Can of Whoopass

**Author's Note:**

> First fire emblem fic I've ever written, and hopefully not my last! I hope y'all enjoy it because I enjoyed writing it.

“Oh boy Gunter, you’re not gonna believe this one!” Corrin tossed her backpack on the ground by the couch, longboard hitting the hardwood flooring with a loud _thock._ She dropped herself unceremoniously onto the overstuffed leather couch and sighed, taking a long drink of her electric blue slurpee, “I had so much shit going on.” 

“I’m glad to see you too Corrin.” Gunter adjusted his glasses, preemptively grabbing his pad and pen, “Since when did you pick up skateboarding?” 

“Since I wore through my last pair of heelies and dad won’t let me buy a new pair because this was my fourth pair.” 

“Ah yes, and you’ve told me…” He flipped through the notes for effect, “Heelies are the most efficient form of transport.” 

“Yes, and I have been a victim of discrimination due to being stopped by mall security and restaurant workers. Heelie owners are a discriminated minority.” She grinned, settling herself into her seat, “Anyway, how was your weekend Dr. Hoffman?” 

“Not bad, the wife and I took our grandkids camping.” He hummed, flipping to a blank page, “She maintains that it’s necessary to connect with nature and avoid the evils of capitalism.” 

“I mean she’s right.” 

“Of course she’s right. So what’s been going on Corrin?” Gunter glanced up over his glasses. 

“So like… I wasn’t able to see you last week, and it was kinda shit. I got a phone call from my caseworker, which was real fuckin weird to me, and then I found out that my birth mom is trying to reach out to me and Lil.” Corrin sighed heavily and drank more electric blue slush, “So like… how the hell do you react to that? So I ask him ‘what does she want’ and he just goes ‘she just wants to meet with you again’ and I’m just ‘why didn’t she try to do that BEFORE I turned 16’ and anyway I got in an argument with him and hung up.”

Gunter’s note taking hesitated a moment, “I’m… not sure if it’s legal for your case worker to call you directly and not contact you first through your current guardian.” 

“Really?” Corrin blinked and thought about it, “...I’m not really sure about it either. He just called me because apparently mom still has the right to contact us and she apparently just HAS to talk to me now. Because like… He called back the next day to plead her case. She’s apparently not gonna try to force me to come back to her, which-” She snorted, “-yeah not happening even if she wanted to- but he convinced me to meet her. Get this. She got remarried to a guy who has kids. She has _fucking kids_ again. She fucks up being a parent once and then gets a new set of kids to try again!”

“You seem to really resent this fact.”

“Well YEAH I do. She had to have CPS called on her because her negligence caused THIS to happen!” Corrin tugged on her left ear, showing how it was misshapen, cut at an unnatural jagged angle, “She was drunk off her ass and… I mean. I’m not completely sure what _happened_ , but there was a mishap with me and a knife while she was passed out in the living room. Lilith won't go into details. She never goes into details, everything that has happened is just cagey.” 

Gunter nodded and continued to write. 

“But- like. I mean I know WHY she was drunk, Dad killed himself, but we were there! We were still living children that relied on her! She can say she was doing her best, but it still put us at risk! I was a toddler! She still had to take care of us and she didn’t! And she fucked up and here she is again. Waited twelve long years before trying to be like ‘hi I know I fucked up but please be my daughter again’.” 

“Your father killed himself?” Gunter looked up from the notepad. 

“Yeah..." Corrin hesitated, staring into space as she attempted to put words together, "Apparently he was really mentally ill, and he wasn’t getting help. I mean that's what Lilith says it was, and I believe her on that one. I’m not sure how he did it, but around the time I was two he just offed himself. I never really knew the guy so I can’t really… feel anything? It feels shitty to say that, but how do you mourn someone who died before you could remember?” 

“It’s alright to not know how to react to something like that. Sometimes it’s difficult to connect with someone whom you’ve never known.” 

Corrin gave a small smile and drew in her knees, “Still feels like I should feel bad. I mean he partly caused my existence. Him and Mikoto are why I was born. And... well there's also the suicide thing... 

“Anyway… so I’m going to have to meet her this Saturday for dinner. Apparently she wants me to meet her new husband and introduce the step kids to me. I don’t wanna go, but I fuckin… backed myself into a corner by going ‘fine if it’ll get you to shut up’ on the phone.” 

“Corrin.” 

“Yeah I know, not the best response when someone is trying to be polite, but I didn’t care!” She groaned and sank deeper into the brown leather. 

“This isn’t a productive way to approach the situation and you know this.” 

“I know, I know…” 

“Though it isn’t fair that your mother wants to spring all these people on you at once. It’s a flustering thing to do to you, especially after not being in contact with you for over a decade.” 

“I know right?” Corrin absently played with a strand of her hair, staring at the patterned wallpaper, “And like… I don’t really know what to do? Like… ugh I’m saying ‘like’ a lot- anyway- but… I don’t really want to meet her kids. I don’t want to meet her! It’s driving me up a wall and I can’t do anything but scream!” 

“Screaming could help.” Gunter nodded his head as he continued to write notes, “You’ve had issues expressing your frustration, it’d be cathartic.” 

“Yeah but… Xander just moved back in and Dad just collapses into his chair lately so I don’t wanna wake them up by screaming like a banshee. I did that once and it did _not_ help at all.” 

Gunter’s lips pursed as he gathered his thoughts, “Well. Have you considered taking up a sport? Martial arts would probably help take out some of your frustrations. There's taekwondo, krav maga, and brazilian jiu jitsu. Plenty of martial arts studios around here you know.” 

Corrin hesitated and thought about it for a moment, “I mean… I mean I could? I never really tried it before.” 

“I think you should give it a shot. You need to expand your horizons Corrin. It’s an outlet for your pent up aggression. I can give you the information if you want.” 

“Nah I’ll… google it when I get home. I’ll ask dad about it. He’ll probably just grunt and give me the money for it, but hey maybe he’ll do more than that.” She snorted bitterly and chewed on her straw, “But… I mean it’s not bad… I guess.” 

Corrin relented and sat up, crossing her legs and sucking down the last of her slushie, sighing at the cold pain of brain freeze. Gunter smiled and set his paper in his lap and leaned forward. 

“So. This week you’re going to look into picking up a martial art?” 

“Yes Dr. Hoffman.” 

“And when it comes to your mother… try to keep an open mind with it all. You don’t have to welcome her back into your life, but just see where it goes. And we can pick it up again next week.” 

"Ok." 

He leaned back in his seat and picked the pad back up, "So! Aside from your mother, what else have you been up to this week?" 

"So Xander moved back in..." 

* * *

The only one home when Corrin returned, was Xander, who was preoccupied by laying face down on the couch when she came in. She glanced around the empty entryway before approaching her groaning older brother, “You uh. Good there bud?” 

“No.” He groaned through the pillow. 

“Cool cool… so uh. Doc Hoffman said I should take up martial arts.” 

“Mmm.” 

“Yeah. He thinks I should learn how to fight people.” 

“Mmm.” 

“He thinks it might be good for me.” 

“Corrin I have no idea how you want me to react.” Xander moved his head so she could hear him clearly. 

“I dunno. Do you think it’s a good idea or are you gonna brace for impact cuz I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“It’s not a bad idea that’s for damn sure.” He stuffed his face back into the blue-grey chenille cushion. Corrin circled around, sitting herself on the dark wood coffee table. She propped her chin in her hand, staring at the back of his head.

“...First day back that bad?” 

“Corrin I’m in _college_ college. I had three three hour classes today, all of them were lectures. We had fifteen minutes of the professors just going ‘hey this is my name and this is the class let’s get started’.” 

“Hey I’m Xander’s professor and welcome to jackass.” 

He sighed and pushed himself up, his back audibly cracking in the motion. He sat up and rested his arms on his knees, "But, yes. It’s day one of a new semester and I’m just… so tired." He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, "At least all my classes are in one day...” 

“I mean that’s what you get for going to grad school right?” 

“Yep. Fuck me right?” Xander grimaced, “So why did you bring the martial arts stuff up?” 

“Well…” Corrin fidgeted, “I mean I wanted to share it with someone. And I’m not allowed to drive.” 

“Yeah the last time you did, dad’s blood pressure skyrocketed… were you wanting me to drive you there?” 

“Yep.” She lied. She didn’t even know where she wanted to go for something like this, but she wasn’t just going to tell him what was up with that. She kinda liked the idea of doing something like this, and Dr. Hoffman and Xander thought it was a good idea. She wasn’t going to just say ‘please validate my choices’. Not directly anyway.

“When do you start?” 

“I’ll get back to you on that one. I haven’t even found a place I wanna go yet.” Corrin jumped to her feet and hustled out of the room, swinging around the corner and up the stairs, not catching whatever her older brother had to say about her lack of planning. 

It isn’t her fault that she didn’t exactly plan that conversation through, she just needed to hear that it was probably a good idea for her without making it seem like she was blatantly fishing for approval like she usually was.

Regardless of the conversation, Corrin threw herself into her bedroom, tossing her backpack in the corner with the amassing pile of dirty laundry she’s been putting off and arranging her bed to be her perfect comfort nest: four pillows to support her back, one pillow on top of the four to rest her head, and two on either side as armrests. The peak of depressed luxury. She climbed on her bed and wrapped herself in blankets, needing to be at maximum comfort before slumping down and grabbing her laptop. 

Corrin logged in, and immediately opened yet another tab. Adding to the ever growing wall of tabs, still not really sure what all was in there. For all she knew she had already googled this. And then she was faced with the most daunting thing of all. Choice. She stared at the blinking input line, wondering what exactly she even wanted to do. It’s not like she was at a loss for options, but it was a little daunting to suddenly realize that you had to pick one. 

She stared at the search bar, willing herself to type something. Anything. 

Any moment she would type something into google and she would pick a sport.

_Bo-boop_

“Oh thank god…” She muttered to herself as her messenger lit up with a new notification, letting herself put off making an actual choice.

 **_cavalry’s queer:_ ** _‘corn corn wanna see seomthing cursed’_

 **_cavalry’s queer:_ ** _‘something*’_

Corrin paused and contemplated. 

 **_10 lizards in a trenchcoat:_ ** _‘silas i s2g if you send me more furby shit i’m going to manifest snakes in your house’_

 **_cavalry’s queer:_ ** _‘neeeeever mind then lmfao’_

She rolled her eyes.

 **_10 lizards in a trenchcoat:_ ** _‘fuck oooofff’_

 **_cavalry’s queer:_ ** _‘:p love ya’_

 **_cavalry’s queer:_ ** _‘anyway how was your day’_

 **_10 lizards in a trenchcoat:_ ** _‘eh y’know.’_

 **_10 lizards in a trenchcoat:_ ** _‘went to see gunter’_

 **_10 lizards in a trenchcoat:_ ** _‘gonna take up martial arts and kick xander’s ass’_

 **_cavalry’s queer:_ ** _‘o shiiit’_

 **_cavalry’s queer:_ ** _‘what’re you gonna take??’_

 **_10 lizards in a trenchcoat:_ ** _‘idk :/’_

 **_10 lizards in a trenchcoat:_ ** _‘still kinda looking into it’_

 **_cavalry’s queer:_ ** _‘lol ok then’_

Corrin tabbed away, deciding to at least make an effort to do something with her day. She already made the mistake of bringing the idea up to Silas and it was either do something or disappoint him, and she’d really rather not face Silas doing the disappointed look again. She idly looked up classes near her, scrolling through the options that were close by. There was a dojo not too far from her school. 

She clicked the link to the website, grazing over the simplistic layout. It was efficient in getting the information out there, but it was not very pretty. There were pictures of the dojo, the teachers available. Class schedules, pricing, what classes they offered. Private lessons. She just had to go into the dojo itself and speak with an instructor to get started. And by god did that fill her with anxiety.

 **_10 lizards in a trenchcoat:_ ** _‘hey sigh?’_

 **_cavalry’s queer:_ ** _‘hm?’_

 **_10 lizards in a trenchcoat:_ ** _‘can you come with me to this dojo after school tomorrow? I’m pretty sure I can’t do this one alone.’_

 **_cavalry’s queer:_ ** _‘of course~! I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that!’_

 **_10 lizards in a trenchcoat:_ ** _‘have i told you how much i love you lately?’_

 **_cavalry’s queer:_ ** _‘i love you too corn~ it’ll be fine! You can do this!’_

And for a moment, a brief and calming moment, it really did feel like it was going to be fine. 

It would be totally fine. 


	2. Featuring Africa by Toto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta give a thank you to my wife, savvylikeapirate, for being my editor and beta reader. Also, I had to do some fun rewrites. Funny how forgetting a character in fates changes things.

Corrin already regretted telling Silas about her plan. 

She regretted telling him and getting him involved, which now meant she had to follow through on her idea. The idea that was endorsed by both her therapist and Xander. And Silas, given that he drove her here. Despite wanting to be here, nothing could stop the gnawing dread as she stood in front of the building. 

“So. You gonna just stand there and stare at it or…?” Silas cocked his head as Corrin snapped from her paralysis. 

“Oh yeah. Yep.” She awkwardly laughed and gathered her will, along with making a note that she really needed to take her meds regularly. Anxiety was a bitch. 

Silas smiled and stepped ahead, opening the door for her and staring at her expectantly. Corrin smiled and entered the empty lobby of the dojo. There wasn’t much going on at the time; presumably classes weren’t going to start for another few hours, and all they had to welcome them were framed newspaper clippings and Bruce Springsteen over the sound system. 

“... you know what song’s playing?” 

“I’m gay, why would I know who this even is?” 

“Fair I guess?” Corrin forgot that Silas didn’t listen to Dad Rock. He’s missing out, some of that shit rocked, “It’s… Born to Run by Springsteen. The song New Jersey touts as their song despite the fact it’s about trying to get away from Jersey.” 

It really didn’t matter if he had heard it before or not, the song was fading out and there was a pause before the soft drum opening to Africa by Toto started playing and Silas perked up. 

“Oh! Know this one.” 

“Everyone knows it, it’s a fucking jam.” Corrin grinned and heard someone approach. 

“Hey.” A low, smokey, and very unfamiliar voice addressed them. Corrin turned to meet whoever this was, but everything she could possibly think to say just vanished and resulted in a throaty gurgle.

She had no idea who this girl was, but every single part of her wanted to. 

She towered over Corrin, dark eyes staring into her soul. Her face was framed with short, bleached white hair that curled gently. Her hair contrasted against the dark tan of her skin, as did the white of her sports bra she wore under a wide open hoodie. Corrin was at a complete and utter loss for words in the face of meeting the most intense person she’s ever met.

And all of this moment topped off by the jam of the century. 

“U-uh.” 

“...Hi, so this one’s wanting to sign up for classes.” Silas picked up for Corrin as her brain continued to malfunction, “She wanted to grab some y’know. Forms. And stuff.” 

Silas grabbed Corrin by the shoulder and shook her back and forth, trying to get her snap out. Mystery Girl nodded all the same. 

“Gotcha.” She strolled behind the small desk they had set up front and fished around, “We got some classes that are still open. Some private classes too, but you’d have to shell out for it.” 

She shrugged and offered the small assortment of papers out towards Corrin, who carefully took them. Corrin fanned herself with the bounty paper, not even sure what all was going on with her right now. 

“I’m… Corrin. Corrin Kaiser.” She swallowed, “Sorry about uh- the brain malfunction, it just happens sometimes.” 

“Happens.” The girl offered a hand to shake, “Rinkah Matsubara.” 

Corrin took her hand and gave it a shake, trying her best to not focus too hard on the moment. How warm and strong Rinkah's hands were, the darkness of her eyes or the faint hint of a smile on her lips. 

“...I’m Silas.” He coughed, prompting Corrin to let go of Rinkah's hand and feel a heat creep up her cheeks.

“Nice to meet you, man.” Rinkah nodded in his direction, “Anyway, everything you’d need to know is in the papers and online. Prices ‘n times, all that.” 

“Alright, thank you.” Corrin managed a smile, “I’ll uh. I’ll be seeing you around then.” 

“See you around.” Rinkah nodded. 

Corrin lingered a moment before Silas sighed and grabbed Corrin by the shoulder, pulling her out of the door as he gave Rinkah a friendly goodbye.

Her memory was a blur to her after that. She definitely got in the car with Silas and buckled herself in. She saw the car pull out of the parking lot and turn onto the road. He was saying words but she couldn’t register what he was saying.

She had no idea what she was doing or feeling or thinking, but Corrin’s heart was fluttering in her chest. This was normal right? It was normal to be this antsy around someone you thought was cool right? Rinkah was clearly the coolest person she had ever met, and it was what made her antsy right? Corrin groaned loudly and dragged her hands down her cheeks, wanting to just get swallowed up by the earth.

Silas might’ve just asked her a question but she has no idea what it was. 

It’s not a crush. She knew girls could have crushes on other girls, Camilla had a girlfriend and that was completely normal. Her girlfriend had dinner with them a lot and they seemed so happy together. Corrin still remembered how she felt watching them. Wanting to be like that, as comfortable as they were. She’d get this weird sense of longing that she never got when Xander would date someone. But then again, Camilla and Flora had been together for longer.

But why did she have to clarify to herself that it wasn’t a crush? 

“Corn you in there?” Silas snapped his fingers in front of her face. 

“Uh-” She jumped and snapped back to reality, “Yeah now I am.” 

“Yeah you were totally zoned out there, you alright?” 

“Yeah I’m good. Just thinkin’ about a lot of stuff.” 

“Like seeing Rinkah again later.” Silas gave her a teasing grin and she smacked his shoulder. 

“Shut the fuck up Silas.” He laughed at her and pulled into the subdivision Corrin lived in, noticing a moving truck just up the road. 

“Oh hey, new people.” 

“Yeah people tend to move here.” 

“Shush. Wonder what they’re like.” Silas looked at the house and the movers as they drove past, “That’s a pretty nice house.” 

“It’s only nice because it’s like one of the first houses you see when you drive in. You always make the houses near the front look pretty, entices people to live where the pretty houses are. It’s gonna be a bitch and a half to turn out of that drive way.” 

“God, true.” 

“Anyway. I don’t really care who’s moving in. It’s not like we’re ever going to meet them.” 

* * *

 

Ryoma carried the last two boxes in the moving truck, relieved that this nightmare was over. It took fucking hours in 89 degree heat with heavy humidity, but he helped get his parents things moved in. Ryoma never realized before they moved how much stuff they had. Three trucks to get it all cross country, three fully packed trucks of stuff. 

Across the country. 

Where he moved.

To Florida. 

With him.

Oh it was the absolute _dream_ to have your family still around you when you go to a new college. Not that they would admit that it was to keep the family together, his father's father just happened to also have a job opportunity that was in Florida. With him. So he had more years of having his parents swinging by his apartment to check on him while he is trying to be on his own for once. 

Ryoma loved them to death, there was no doubt about it, but he would like some time where it was only him. Only him and Scarlet anyway. 

Assorted movers and his father moved furniture around to Mikoto’s direction as Ryoma passed by, carrying the boxes through the living room and into the kitchen. It was an HGTV day dream there: granite counter tops for every surface, a gas stove plated in chrome, multiple ovens, a restaurant grade fridge, a skylight and recessed lighting where the natural light couldn't reach. Mikoto drooled over it when they looked at the house. And now that Ryoma was here to see it himself, so did he. He was a domestic old man at the ripe age of 24. 

The only thing hampering it was the gradually amassing pile of boxes they had in the corner. Hinoka kicked aside some of them, making room for Ryoma to come through and set the new addition on the island. 

“So that should be the last of it right?” She asked, transferring her current stack of plates to their location in the cabinet. 

“Yeah that was the last of it. The movers got everything else so now it’s the fun part.” Ryoma smiled and grabbed a box cutter, slashing the tape. 

"Now YOU get to join in on the fun part. I've been at this for the last hour or so." Hinoka gave a small chuckle and tossed the newly emptied box onto the mountain. She sighed and rolled her shoulder, “So Takumi already huffed off to his room.”

“Yeah that's about what I expected.” He started putting the glasses away, giving Hinoka a break. 

“Yep. He put his headphones in and started blaring one of those emo bands that were big in like 2009.” 

“That narrows it down.” 

“I know right? They all sound the same to me anyway.” Hinoka shrugged and sighed, “Also, thanks for helping out. I know mom and dad asked, but you could've said no anyway.” 

“I'd never just straight up say no, I'd make an excuse if I didn't want to come. But really, it's no problem. Scarlet wanted to help too, but there was a call in at work and she had to go do that instead.” 

“I like Scarlet.” Hinoka paused, staring up at the cabinets with a sigh, “I’m getting tired of tall people shelves.” 

"Because you're short?" 

"Shut it." She gave him an exaggerated frown before sliding herself down onto the ground. Ryoma continued to unpack the box, letting Hinoka indulge in her break. Maybe text her friends. Let the reality of the situation sink in. He had no idea how they were feeling about this, it was a pretty abrupt decision on their parents part. Moving was always something that was on the table, but it really felt like Ryoma's change in university clinched it. 

Takumi had a raging fit that frankly Ryoma couldn't fault him for. It took him a long while to warm up to people, and now he's being thrown into an entirely new environment. And Sakura... She was bottling everything up. She put on her strong face for sure, and was going to tackle it with her own 12 year old dignity, but he saw how she reacted in private. She cried herself hoarse in his arms. 

He decided to test the waters, get a beat on Hinoka, “So... how do you feel about being dragged cross country.” 

“...I mean like whatever?” She hesitantly put down her phone and looked up at him, “I’m still trying to figure out if my new school will let me try out for varsity volleyball. I was on the team back home- well I guess this is home now but you know what I mean. I’ll get itchy if I can’t do anything.” 

"Yeah... You've never been able to sit still." 

Ryoma finished out the box in silence, the sound of Mikoto and Sumeragi getting the living room set up in the background. They were trying to find the perfect place to put some kind of picture or something. 

It had to be here or maybe over there. It’d look good really here, it’d compliment that. Their discussion was white noise. 

Ryoma settled down next to Hinoka, resting his arms on his knees. He sucked in his lower lip, thinking about the entirety of this situation. And his mind drifting to a subject didn't want to think about. Mikoto's daughters. Hinoka nudged him with her foot, noticing the far off look in his eye. 

"Hey. You in there?" 

"Yeah. I am." He glanced in the direction of the living room, hearing a peal of laughter from their stepmother at a joke their dad told, "...You know Mikoto's kids live in Florida too, right?" 

"...Yeah. Yeah I know that." Hinoka rested her head against the cabinet, staring through the skylight, "I'm pretty sure aside from you coming here, they're the reason we're out here. Takumi thinks so anyway." 

"...He would, wouldn't he." Ryoma sighed, pushing his hair out of his face, "I hope he doesn't blame them for it." 

"We both know he will. He probably also thinks they're going to steal Mikoto away from us- I've tried over and over to tell him they're not stealing anyone but it's like talking to a wall with him." 

"Um..." The gossiping pair jumped at Sakura's sudden appearance. She quietly stepped over their legs, dragging the footstool from the corner.

“Oh hey you’re quiet.” Hinoka scratched the back of her head, not wanting to get Sakura involved in this discussion. 

“S-sorry… I just wanted to get some water.” She reached into the glass cabinet, “Why’re you both on the floor?” 

“It’s cooler down here.” Ryoma smiled, relieved that she didn't want to pry into the 'Mikoto's kids' subject, “It’s where the cool kids are.” 

“Also tiles are cold.” 

Sakura filled her cup and paused. She seated herself with her siblings, pulling up her knees and sighing, “It does feels nicer down here…” She smiled and sipped on her water, “I’m… trying to unpack my room.” 

“How’s that going?” Ryoma held out his hand, quietly asking for a drink. Sakura handed it over while thinking of her answer. The way her brow furrowed said a lot. 

“I’m… I’m doing it. And I texted Hana…” She trailed off, hugging her knees to her chest, “She said that she and Subaki miss me…” 

Her voice wavered and Hinoka and Ryoma shared a glance. They knew that separating her from her closest friends would be a rough transition. Sakura’s head buried in her knees and Hinoka scoot over to her, “Hey hey, at least you still have them to talk to! Besides, people are gonna like you at the new school.” 

Hinoka gave her a gentle squeeze. 

“It’s gonna be fine Sakura. If you need anything you can spend time with me and Scarlet. She loves you to bits. And I do too.” He smiled and pushed himself up with a groan, giving Sakura an affectionate pat before standing completely, “Speaking of Scarlet, I gotta get going. I wanna get home and shower before too long, Scar had to work a double and I wanna get dinner made before she's back."

"Oh you're headed out already?" Mikoto popped into the kitchen, equally gross and sweaty as her son, "Well. It was good to see you, and it was a shame that Scarlet couldn't join in on the fun. College students can't say no to free food." She smiled and held open her arms, offering Ryoma a hug that he took up. 

"I'll be back around another time. I'll probably be around to meet your kids when the time comes." 

Her expression wavered but she smiled all the same, patting him on the shoulder, "Now get on home. You need a shower." 

He rolled his eyes with a smile and headed out, giving his dad a quick goodbye before ducking out. Time to return to his own, independent life. 

* * *

 

Corrin perked up as she saw the door to her bedroom crack open, Lilith poking her head into the room. Her older sister motioned for her to take out her headphones, “Hey, Camilla sent me up to come get you. Dinner’s going to be ready in a few minutes.” 

Without waiting for a response, Lilith came in and sat on the edge of Corrin’s bed, twirling newly dyed blue hair around her fingers. 

“...so you actually went through with dyeing thing?” Corrin set aside her laptop. Lilith had put it off for so long, she had wanted to dye her hair ever since Camilla started dyeing her hair lavender. 

“Yeah. Leo and Elise helped me out. Elise is better with hair than we give her credit for.” Lilith laughed, “Do I look good?” 

“It suits you.” Corrin crossed her legs and paused for a moment, a thought occurred to her, “Hey uh… Lily, random question.” 

“Hm?”

“Are you... also going to the dinner with mo-" The word lurched in her mouth, "Mikoto?” 

Corrin had a sour taste in her mouth. She reflexively wanted to say Mom, but she couldn’t in good conscience. Katerina was her mom. Katerina was the one who did mom things. Reading her stories, tucking her in at night, holding her until she fell back asleep after she had a nightmare. Katerina made her feel loved. She made all of them feel loved.

“...Why do you ask?" 

“I mean... you're my older sister. You probably remember her better..." She withheld the other sentence that crossed her mind, 'You probably remember Anankos too.'

She couldn’t identify what kind of emotion it was that crossed Lilith’s face at that idea but she just quietly nodded, “Well. I don't remember much. I'm not that much older than you. I remember her reading me books sometimes. I remember her sitting on the floor with me. You'd be in her lap and she'd watch me color.”

Corrin lips flattened into a tight line, fingers tightly laced together at the recounting of the memory. She frowned, training her eyes on a poster she hung on her wall. Lilith gingerly rested her hand on Corrin's knee, snapping her out the trance, "Hey. We need to talk to dad about Mikoto contacting us." 

"That's going to be fun..." 

"Corrin, Lilith, get down here! The table's set!" Camilla called from the bottom of the stairs. The pair exchanged a glance. 

They sat in stillness before Corrin slid out of bed, "Time to face the music. Huh?" 

She only got a furtive look in response as Lilith left the room.  

Corrin reluctantly exited her cave and walked down the carpeted stairs, catching the scent of yeast rolls and tomato sauce. It was Leo's turn to make dinner that night. A routine they had only just instituted, but Camilla was adamant about them sticking to it. They had to set a routine, stick to it, and get back to moving. They couldn't stay in the shock of Katerina's death.

The food was already set out for them to dish as desired, red ceramic bowl filled to brim and then some with pasta, a bowl with large meatballs swimming in the tomato sauce to it's side. Salad and bread sat side by side. Camilla had set the table for the evening, and she had plates neatly set for every member of the family. She glanced at the seat that Katerina would normally take. Camilla set a plate for her too.

Corrin tore her mind off of it as she sat down and helped herself to the food that was laid out in front of her.

She was automatic, focused on the noises of family talk. Focused on her thoughts. She and Lilith shared a furtive glance as they all began to eat. Camilla and Elise carried the majority of the conversation. Complimenting Leo on his cooking, discussing the happenings of that day, Elise talking about the recent drama with her ring of friends. It made things feel decently normal. Corrin let herself relax a bit.

She looked over at her father. Garon ate silently, but she was glad he was at least with the family this time. The last two dinners they had, he chose to eat alone in his study. He hadn’t really been himself for the past few months. Then again neither had she. None of them were themselves really. 

“Corrin~” Camilla cooed and tapped her, “Did you do anything interesting today?” 

“Um-” Corrin hesitated and nodded, “Yeah, I went to this martial arts place. I got some information, and stuff. Doctor Hoffman said it’d be a good idea and I wanted to do it too, so… yeah! I still gotta give you the papers I got.”

She turned her attention to her father who nodded, “I’ll look at them.” 

“And there was um… another thing I forgot to bring up. So uh... Mikoto contacted me and Lilith.” 

If there were ever a time she could describe as being “so quiet you could hear a pin drop”, it’d be that moment. Everyone stopped eating and their heads swiveled in her direction, Garon even looking up from his plate with a look of surprise. Lilith hesitated in the quiet, trying not to make too much noise as she tried to keep eating. To hopefully not be immediately needled while Corrin dug the hole herself.

"She uh... she wanted to know if we'd speak to her... maybe get dinner."

“Corrin… when did your mother contact you?” Garon spoke up. 

“Well I - I mean my caseworker called me on her behalf-” 

He stood from his seat, plate and flatware clattering as he pushed back, “I’m going to have some fucking words with them, they didn’t try reaching you through your guardian.” 

His voice rumbled, he continued to mumble under his breath, storming off towards his office. He left his plate untouched, and leaving the rest of the table to erupt.  

 

"YOUR MOM CONTACTED YOU-" "When did this happen-?" "THEY BETTER NOT TRY ANYTHING-" "You're not going to leave right-?" "If they think that you're leaving-!" "CALM-" "Please don't leave-!" "Why the fuck-" _"VOY A MATAR A ESA PUTA-!"_ "CAMILLA-" "Corrin?" "THEY'RE NOT GOING-" "Why did she-" _"Dejame ir, Xander-!"_ "

Corrin trembled, wildly overstimulated and crowded by her family. Elise was tearing up, Leo was wildly overwhelmed, Camilla was screaming in Spanish and physically restrained by a Xander trying desperately to regain the peace. Lilith rested her hand on Corrin's shoulder, seeing her tremble violently. She knew this wasn't going to go well. Lilith tried to comfort her, before Corrin shoved away from the table. The noise faltered as Corrin escaped the scene, plate in hand. 

She needed her safety. She needed her quiet. She seated herself on the edge of her bed, her knuckles going white. She chewed her lip and fought off her urge to cry. 

The noise picked back up downstairs. It was all faint now, but she could still hear some of it. And slowly it faded back down. Either Lilith or Xander calmed them, or dad came back out to give them a death glare. But it was quiet in her room now. All she had for company was her fan and the sounds that were outside her window. Corrin picked at what remained on her plate. She didn’t have the desire to eat but continued to shovel it into her mouth. It was going to fill a void or at least distract her from reality for a bit. Piece by piece, mindlessly putting food in her mouth while staring at a wall. Numb to the world until she hit the realization there was nothing left to eat. 

She sighed heavily and set the plate on her bedside table, she tangled herself up in her blankets and hid her face in a pillow.  

“I should’ve just stuck with talking about Judo…” She muttered, trying to not cry. She didn’t need that tonight thanks. 

Corrin stared at the wall, losing all sense of time as the sun continued to set, and her room was engulfed in darkness. The only light was the faint blue of her laptop, still charging by her bed. 

There was a knock at the door and immediately walking in after was her father, looking tired but satisfied. 

“...Corrin.” She sat up as he entered, swaddled in warmth.

“Hey dad. Did… did you need the papers?” She laughed weakly and sat up, playing with her thumbs. 

He crossed the space between the door and the bed, seating himself on the edge of her mattress and sighing, “I ran down whoever I could for contacting you two first. The office was closing but I got to them... And… you don’t need to meet with Mikoto.” 

“...” She squeezed her wrist, looking down. Observing the patterns on the blanket and noting how she needs to trim her nails. They were getting long. 

“I'll be talking to them more tomorrow. We'll discuss the terms of meeting, if you want to go through with it.” Garon shifted, resting his elbows on his knees and folding his arms. 

“I’ll. I’ll give her a shot if Lily does.” Corrin sighed and glanced back up at her dad, “And… I don’t have to meet her new kids right?” 

“Oh no. It would just be her and us.” Garon nodded, “You never go into litigation with a smaller team.” 

She laughed a small laugh and sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear and looking up at him, “Thanks dad.” 

“Of course Corrin.” He paused and shifted closer, drawing Corrin in for a hug. It was awkward at first, Garon was never a physical affection type of father, but he clearly wanted to show he cared. To show that it was going to be ok. She hesitated but wrapped her arms around her father as well, resting her face in his shoulder, “We’ll make sure things turn out alright.” 

He pat her back and let her go, getting back to his feet. He didn’t comment on her dirty dish, he just picked it up and headed for the door, “Get some rest tonight.” 

“I will.” Corrin hesitated a moment, “I love you dad.” 

Garon paused, a hand on the door handle. 

“I love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I briefly forgot that Lilith was a character in Fates until my wife asked about her role in the story. So now she's an important character in the plot, funny how life works!


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